Brigita's Blog: Clarifying Some Advertising Terms for the Consumer

With so much advertising going around these days, the consumer is totally baffled about the definitions of common advertising terms. 

I would like to clarify this situation by offering the following translation of common advertising terms:

Classic elegance - The same model as last year.

Revolutionary - Slightly different from last year.

Mild - Tasteless.

Bracing - Stings.

Waterproof - Hard to wash off.

Pine-scented - Smells like the ladies' room in a bus station.

New and Improved - In a different color box.

Disposable - Can't be used twice.

Gentle - Use twice as much.

Lightweight - Made out of plastic.

Childproof - Impossible for adults to open.

Complements every decor - Available only in black.

In decorator colors - Available in gold and green, too.

 

It seems like doubletalk has also found its way into advertising through television.  Here are a few translations:

A tale of International intrigue - Hard to follow.

Adapted for TV - Best parts cut out.

For a final analysis and wrapup, we switch you to - The event didn't run as long as we had counted on.

Brought to you as a public service free from commercial interruption - We couldn't find a sponsor.

I hope this helps clarify some of the common advertising terms we see.